Trying to understand the thoughts that keep emerging inside our minds can be one of our biggest struggles when it comes to bug chasing. We use our mind constantly to make all sorts of decisions on a daily basis, so our cognitive function is the most important tool required for decision making, which is why your brain needs to be in the right gear for you to be able to take the next step. When I launched this website a year ago, I decided that the content wasn’t going to be all about me, but I do sometimes allow the articles to explore the way I think, as I try to understand my identity better, because achieving clarity about bug chasing is an important milestone on a bug chaser’s journey.
I feel like the first anniversary of launching this website is the perfect time to think back to the day when I published my first article, which was 50 articles ago and look at where I’m at today. Some of these reflections might have striking similarities for others who are also in a similar position as I am in right now. You might recall that on this exact day one year ago, I published the article Inside My Head: Thoughts from a Curious Chaser. The aim of that article was to put my thoughts onto paper (or an electronic document), so I could look at my thoughts directly in front of me. When thoughts are swirling around inside your mind, it’s easier to calm these thoughts by taking notes so you can see where you’re at.
When something is in front of you in written form, it’s easier for you to focus on what is before you, as all your attention is focused on this one thing, whereas if you keep thinking about the thoughts that are swirling around inside your mind, you won’t make as much progress and it can lead to confusion or an unclear direction you need to take. This is because there’s most likely not just one thing you are thinking about, there are probably many questions entering your mind simultaneously that you’re trying to find answers for. So writing down everything that comes to your mind about bug chasing is my first recommendation, as I have found this technique extremely helpful.
Something else I have found beneficial is to take your time. In the beginning of my journey of self-discovery, I felt as though I needed to rush into making a decision, but in the end, this just created an enormous amount of pressure and it wasn’t helpful at all, which can lead to you taking longer for you to understand yourself. I can appreciate if we make a decision to start actively chasing, then we might think to ourselves that we should have just made this decision a long time ago, but not everyone will make the choice to chase. Some of us who feel spiritually connected to bug chasing might decide that chasing is not for us, or we might not be ready yet, which is perfectly fine as well.
There are two defined steps involved with bug chasing. The first step involves thinking, which can the most stressful part if you are a deep thinker and explore every facet of bug chasing meticulously and the second part involves taking action, whether this action is to commence your chase or to abandon the idea for the time being or even indefinitely. For some people, bug chasing is just a fantasy and that’s perfectly fine, providing those who are role-playing or exploring their fantasies are not misleading anyone into thinking they are actively chasing or wasting other people’s time by misleading or ghosting them. We all need to know where we are at and for some people who feel connected to the virus, taking the risk by becoming HIV+ might not be something that’s right for them.
We all have different comfort levels, which can also impact the speed of the decision making process. Some people are too nervous to ride a rollercoaster, because of the height, speed and intensity of the experience, but for others, they thrive on the adrenaline rush that comes from enjoying the thrill seeking adventure. The same thing can be said about bug chasing, because it involves making a serious decision that can have a lifelong impact, as there’s no cure for HIV at this time, only a treatment that can in most cases provide HIV+ individuals with a life that’s on par with those who are HIV-. We all have different thresholds when it comes to risk analysis, so for some people, they might be more than happy to take a risk and accept what happens afterwards, whereas others are more analytical and want to know as much about what might happen in the future, so we know more about what to expect once it does happen.
On a personal note, in the past year I have come a long way, but I’m still not quite ready to take the next step, which is fine in my opinion, as I still believe in what I want and know will happen in the future. The thoughts that first entered my mind many years ago have never disappeared, so I believe the only way I can fully process these thoughts is to take the next step once I am ready. I am inching closer to the day when I will be confident enough to take the next step, but that time is not today. We only live one life and we are on this planet for a short period of time, so I believe that if I’ve had bug chasing instincts with me for so long, where these thoughts have become a part of my identity and I never act on them, this is something I may regret.
The mind is an extremely powerful part of our body, as it controls our decision making, which then leads to everything else we do from this point forward. You are most likely reading this article because you are connected to bug chasing and have an interest in HIV and you might even be struggling to understand this issue right now. The need to understand why you feel this way is something that just about every bug chaser will experience during their life, which is why we need to do our very best to understand why we have these thoughts and feelings as we try to figure out whether we are prepared to accept the consequences of taking the next step. You cannot move your foot forward to take the next step until your mind tells the key parts of your body to make this movement, which is why it’s so important for you to get your brain into the right gear if you want to take the next step or if you choose to stay where you are.
Featured Photo: Dante T. from Pixabay.
Article ID: CC050
Version Control: 1.0 – October 11, 2022: Original article published.